If you feel like you’re outgrowing a friendship, you aren’t alone. The friends you make in school may not have much in common with you once you turn 20, 30, or even 40.
Although it is possible to reconnect and repair your friendships, there are also times when moving on and making new friends is necessary. Losing a friendship can be just as heartbreaking as a breakup, sometimes even worse. To help ease the pain, I’ve found all the signs you’re outgrowing a friendship.
1. You don’t enjoy hanging out with them.
Do you have that friend who is just draining to be around? You may only see them because you feel guilty, but most of your interactions are negative or awkward, which makes things feel forced. This is a clear sign that you’re outgrowing your friendship.
2. You don’t feel supported.
Good friends will be there for you through all of life’s ups and downs. While it’s fun to celebrate each other’s accomplishments, it’s also good to be there for the hard parts. If you’re going through hard times and your friend is nowhere to be found even though you’re reaching out to them, this is a big sign that you’re outgrowing each other.
Related: Letting Go Of A Toxic Relationship – Live Happier
3. You wouldn’t be friends if you met now.
Have you ever had a thought that you and this friend wouldn’t be friends if you had met now? If the only thing you both share is just history and you find yourself reminiscing about old memories, it’s a good indicator that you’ve outgrown this friend. People change, and that’s okay.
4. You don’t have anything to talk about.
When friendships start to die, the first indicator is when have run out of things to talk about. When small talk is the only thing keeping this friendship alive, you may want to decide if this is a person you want to keep around.
5. Your friend is always “too busy”.
Do you have that friend who never texts you back or fails to respond to you reaching out, or they’re “too busy” when you try to make plans? We’ve all been there. It’s important to know the difference between busy schedules and a lack of interest, though. If it’s the latter, let them go.
6. Your friendship has become one-sided.
Do you feel like you’re the only one who ever puts time and effort into a friendship? If so, this can be tiring. Or it could be the other way around and you’re the one losing interest. Either way, this is a sign that one of you has moved on, and it’s time to cut ties.
7. The past is the only thing you have in common.
When memories are the only thing about this friendship that makes you happy, it’s a sign that you’re growing apart. You stay attached to this friendship out of comfort, so moving on is best.
8. They’re distant when they’re with you.
I had this friend who was always distant when she was with me. We’d set plans to hang out, and she’d come over, but she was constantly on her phone. She told me she had to go but didn’t say why. Later that night, I was scrolling through Facebook to see her tagged in photos with her other friends from that same night. If this sounds familiar, letting this friend go may be a good idea.
9. You have nothing in common.
By the time we hit our mid to late 20s and early 30s, we may be in different places than we were as teenagers. We all develop different hobbies or interests when we get older. If those friends haven’t caught up yet, you may not want to hang out with that friend anymore, and that’s okay.
10. You can’t be yourself around them.
When you can’t feel like you can be your true authentic self when you’re with this person, it’s hard to feel like you both can connect. It can be a lonely feeling when you’re with someone who doesn’t seem to understand you. Without being able to be vulnerable with this person, it’s hard to remain close to them.
Sometimes, it’s possible to rekindle a friendship, but it will only work if you both want it to. If one or both of you are not interested or willing to put the effort into rebuilding the friendship, it may be time to let go.
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